DO Something About Domestic Violence

I have been a victim survivor of domestic violence in the past. I didn't plan to get myself in that situation, it took me a very long time to recognize that it was domestic violence and it took a giant series of awfulness to get out of that situation.

For me, much of the relationship wasn't physical violence. But it was very much control. #seethesigns
http://www.avonfoundation.org/causes/domestic-violence/seethesigns

• He controlled where I could go and who I could see.
• I was the only one who had a consistent job but I had to pay all of the bills.
• He made everything my fault. Everything.

The worst part was that no one could or would help. I felt like I was drowning. I had to keep functioning every day. I couldn't get away, and I had no time for myself. All of my time was spent working, cleaning or taking care of him.When I did have friends or family come visit, he made it a miserable experience. Often, they became mad at me or stopped talking to me. That made me feel even worse, and believe it really was my fault. When it finally got a critical point, I asked people I knew for help and received none. Except for one very close friend who not only gave me a place to stay for a length of time but also protected me. <3

If you think someone you know is experiencing domestic or family abuse SPEAK THE F*CK OUT! Seriously. DO something.

http://www.avonfoundation.org/resources/speak-out/

I have been affected by domestic violence. Women I know have been affected by domestic violence. I have friends who have been manipulated, controlled, hit, kicked out, attacked, lied to, lied about, and put in positions of emotional distress and economic instability. I am pretty sure every single one of those women essentially had to claw her way out of each situation with little or no help. That's not right. Women in domestic violence situations often have very little power to do anything or communicate with people. That makes it significantly harder to identify their own position and do take action to removed themselves from that situation. They need help. I needed help. (I even called the police, and received NO help from them. My biggest personal suggestion is to NOT call the police. I know that goes against conventional wisdom, but in my case calling the police did not help. Contact a SafePlace or similar organization.) Begin conversations. Help women feel less isolated. Offer community resources.

Don't be a bystander. Be an UPstander! Provide help.