Dealing With Adversity

We all face difficult situations in life. How we figure out ways to handle that adversity can help us become stronger, more confident people or it can break us down. Adversity, or as I like to call it, LIFE, happens.

Adversity is defined as difficulties or misfortune. It can also mean bad luck, hardship, disaster, suffering, trauma, or pain. Or a whole bunch of other things!

The most important thing to remember is that adversity is different for every single individual and every adversity is VALID. To one person, an adversity could be a medical or health issue. For another, a traumatic experience. For another, a financial hardship. For some people, adversity is a challenge that they seek. For yet another, a string of small bad luck occurrences. Every single one of those adversities is valid.

So, of course, how we deal with adversity is going to be different!

I personally think it is acceptable to state, “I don’t like having to face this challenge.” Stating you have an adversity and stating that you don’t like it or want it is completely different than not dealing with it positively. It is facing it and acknowledging that it is a difficulty. However, state your dissatisfaction and then move onto fixing the problem. Continuing to complain about it will only drive your friends away. (Been there, done that!)

Don’t let adversity defeat you. For many, facing difficulty requires drugs or alcohol, or creates an unhealthy mental situation.

So what can you do?

• Rely on resources. Ask for help. Lean on a friend. Search for your personal strength.
• Acknowledge that adversity WILL happen. Accept that adversity is a blinding snowstorm and actively seek that sunshine on the other side.
• Don't take it personally. Adversity doesn't seek certain people, and while I frequently feel like I have bad luck, adverse situations can affect any one at any time.
• Be thankful for all the beautiful, wonderful things you do have in life! Love the people around you every day.

Fight the adversity and don’t let it bring you down! You can defeat it.

A Five Step Exercise for Creating Life Goals... Now, if not sooner

There is a children's show called Peep and the Big Wide World, and that show has a neurotic mouse character named Squeak. During a particularly stressful incident, Squeak insists that her main character friends help her. I love her urgency when she says, "Now! If not SOONER!"

That's really how I want to make my goals. I look long term, of course, for sustainability. BUT, I feel like making those goals and defining my ideal life has to happen NOW! (If not sooner).

Before you can set out to achieve, you need to identify what it is you want to achieve. What's your goal?

Goal Exercise:

1. Get a pen or pencil and a piece of paper. Physically write. (Read Write It Down, Make It Happen by Henriette Anne Klauser for more information).
2. Decide on a simple goal that you can achieve within the next month. Make it something you really want to achieve. You can choose a goal from one of the 7 categories: Health, Mind & Spirit, Relationships, Family, Lifestyle, Career, Financial.
3. Now, find your verb. Underline it. What will you be d o i n g?
4. Remind yourself every day that you want to achieve that goal. Either keep it with you, put it on your calendar, or setup a task reminder on your smart phone. However you remind yourself of important things to do, set this goal up as an important thing for you to do.
5. Share your goal only with people who are committed to positivity and helping you achieve your goal.

Example goals:

I choose to run a 5K on May 5th. HEALTH (Realistic if you are a runner and have been training all along).

I choose to enjoy a weekend with my family at a park. FAMILY

I choose to paint a picture of my favorite flower. LIFESTYLE

I choose to walk outside once a week. HEALTH

I choose to drink coffee with my bff. RELATIONSHIPS

I choose to make three new contacts at work. CAREER

I choose to save $50 toward a new car. FINANCIAL

I choose to learn how to be better at communicating. MIND & SPIRIT

(I have applied the word "choose" because we always have a choice. If you aren't doing this active thing towards your goal, you are choosing to do something else. Some choices have a higher priority and that's ok, but it always a choice.)

Take steps to make your goal happen... NOW! If. Not. Sooner.

Dream It? Do It!

I have had a string of randomly weird things breaking in my life. Over the past year, we have had to (or still need to?!) fix, repair or replace our furnace, hot water heater, dryer, water tank from the well, toilet, stove, multiple lights (bulbs keep burning out… a lot), internet connection and both vehicles have required some significant work. And my husband is seeking a new job.

But I am thankful. I am thankful to have my husband and my daughter. I am thankful to have extended family. I am thankful for our health. I am thankful for our garage (hey… it’s been snowing since November… you’d be thankful for a garage, too!)

 

My point is, some crazy weird stuff has happened TO us (as in, we did not make these things happen), but that crazy weird stuff isn’t all that bad. But for a while, it was really starting to get to me. It felt like every month some major thing happens that we have to deal with. It was stressful, expensive and I was just about done with it. What am I saying? Crazy weird stuff will always happen. There will always be *something*. What I’m trying to do is to make that crazy weird stuff that WILL happen into good stuff!

To manifest means to make clear.

I’m making it clear what I want. I want my family together. I want my house and cars in good shape. I want my husband to have the job he deserves and a creative place to make art. I’ve got goals and I am going for those goals. Just flat out going for them.

If I Dream It, I Do It.

I do want to state that I am not much for spirituality. This isn’t about me finding God or following some path of destiny. I do not have the “chalk of fate” here.  What I am doing is approaching life with the perspective that there are things I want, and I am reaching for those things. Every day, with deliberate, methodical action.

That might just be why I feel better about my stuff breaking. Instead of dreaming and wishing and hoping, I am just DOING. I’m taking action and doing things to work on my dreams.